Panic Attack in the Sac

I'm going to get fat. When some people get stressed they stop eating. I eat everything in sight, then stress that I've put on weight (like .1kg) and stress more and eat more. Yes, I am truly gifted with logic...

English SAC- Lets not discuss it.
Maths SAC - Lets not discuss it. (but I will anyway)

You see I panicked in the maths SAC (god knows why) and spent a good fifteen minutes hyperventilating at the back instead of working and then just made up answers for the last few questions coz I ran out of time (coz I spent most of my time cursing Mendelssohn and any other mathematician I could think of instead of actually doing the work.)  It's not that maths is difficult, just that if I panic or stress I'm useless. It's the same with everything else. When speaking german if someone laughs or I lose track of what I'm saying then that's it for the day. There's no getting back on the horse for Giorgia, just rocking herself to a state of calm in the corner.

Well, not usually but at the moment. I swear after two bad SACs in a row it couldn't get much worse. It seems the fog of apathy is setting in....as if it hadn't already. They can say "oh it goes quickly" and "it'll be the end of your life if you fail" all they want but I feel somewhat depressed and unmotivated, so they can say it all they want but I need a break. Just to hide in a corner and hope my SAC results at least put me in the top 20% ??? So much for law...

Hope all is well.

My Dating Tips #1

I have long held certain rules of dating. Not that I really date. I usually just let the boy know that he's mine, tell him not to question me or argue about it and that's the end of it.


Anyway here are few reasons I'd say no to a boy.

1. If he has a weird name. This sounds harsh but if no one can pronounce his name then I have to give him a nickname and boys don't seem to like being called "Boy" they seem to think it's belittling or something. They also don't appreciate you forgetting their name but that's a different story.

2. If he is overly hairy or double jointed. I can't stand people cracking their knuckles or bending their fingers back. It makes me nauseous and people who are capable of doing either just don't seem to be able to help themselves....It's not ok. Those who are hairy can't help themselves either. I mean how dare they be hairy! Not that they can really help it, I guess it's a genetic thing but if the there is enough hair that it keeps them warm in the winter time without the need of a jacket-then it is time to wax.

3. If he baby-talks. It only takes one word and he's gone.

4. If he comments on my weight or doesn't lie and tell me I look beautiful all the time. I'm egotistical and freely admit it. I don't want to hear that my ass has expanded since last time he saw me or that yellow flannelette pyjamas with frogs on them are not very attractive (yes I actually own those PJ's....what of it?) I want to hear that my hair is shiny (greasy), that my eyes shine through (my glasses), that my skin is luminous (too much blush) and that what I'm wearing looks great (that top is too tight and the shoes don't match the pants.) I don't think it's too much to ask?!?

5. If he doesn't pay. Actually I'll always pay for myself but that doesn't mean he can't offer. Plus if I'm feeling particularly cheap I might skimp out on $0.50 or so so it's nice to know the offer's there.

There's a plethora (couldn't help myself....plethora :) of reasons and only the cream of the crop get through to my interviewing stage :P However I'll study for my SACs now and leave the rest of my reasons for another day.

Hope all is well.

Judgment Day Approaches.

About ten minutes ago I was so desperate for M&Ms I considered running out to the shops to buy some...despite the rain, and the cold and my hair getting messy if I risked facing the aforementioned issues.....I needed them. M&Ms are life, in fact I could probably live on M&Ms if I was given an opportunity. I just love them. However I also love my ass not giving Russia's size a run for it's money, so I usually refrain from eating them. Anyways I have a lollipop now so I'm happy....for now.

So I'm a judger. I don't think that's such a bad thing-it saves time getting to know annoying people and I freely admit that I do it so it's ok. Whilst some people will say "don't judge a book by its cover" it's just not realistic. 1. People are not books and 2. No one wants to be friends with the guy who's not wearing any pants on the bus...or do you? No? Well then you've judged. He might be the love of your life, or just a really nice guy but because of his unfortunate lack of pants you have decided he's either a) a freak b) a sexual deviant or c) both. I use my mad judging skillz for good and not evil though, I think it's better for all involved if we just cut the awkward conversation and note that "They have a mullet-not my kind of person" or "she's a lot more attractive than I am-not my type of person." Naah just kidding....or am I?!?

Not sure why I told you that, it wasn't leading on to anything.

Moving on.

Seems the SAC I've been frantically preparing for all week is actually on Monday and not tomorrow...guess I'll get a good nights sleep for once! I had a dream a few nights ago that Justin Bieber was an evil demon (as if there is any other kind) and he was chasing me around some camping ground trying to suck out my soul. Now considering I'm a Ranga and don't even have a soul-it didn't really make sense. (http://www.jlowman.com/Gingerkids.htm) Not to mention the only time I've ever really heard his music is on the radio-which is speedily switched off or when I was in Germany and Laura (my German) played his stuff. Let me just say that for a little kid with a bowl cut he was surprisingly scary-guess it was the whole "I want to kill you" thing.

Anyways I should do some homework.

Hope all is well.

Birthday.

Today was my birthday. That is all.

Parent Teacher Interviews.

As I write this I'm also simultaneously writing my English essay which is due first thing tomorrow. Mum asked me why I started it at 10:53pm the night before....good question Mum, guess I just like a challenge.

Yes it's that time of year again. When I sign up every teacher for a ten minute interview with whichever parent it is whose number is up. This year it was Dad who got to listen to teachers tell him that academically I'm a favourite and yet personality wise I'm a nightmare....what of it?

You see my parents hear it every year...twice. It doesn't even faze them any more to hear that my hand-writing is horrendous, I may be a little too direct in my opinions and I don't play nice with the other kids....17 years of it tomorrow and I think they've just perfected their replies.

Teacher: Giorgia is disruptive.
Parent: Does that affect her marks?
Teacher: Giorgia is very direct.
Parent: Would you prefer she lied?
Teacher: Giorgia's handwriting is poor.
Parent: She still got an A right? So it's legible...

You see my parents are under no false pretence, they know what I'm like, so all I can really hope for is that if a teacher bursts out crying or something (....it's happened....sport was never my favourite subject....) that they're not too shocked to have prepared an answer.

So this year's interviews weren't too bad. No one cried, no one had a speech prepared discussing exactly what was wrong with me, no one tried to ignore that my marks are good and just talk about my "daily interactions," just Lit telling me it was too much like english and english vice versa. History telling me my essays are too detailed and German telling me my grammar was terrible...all things I could and probably have told my parents.

Meh, see if I can do more damage next time I guess :)

Hope all is well.

My Job.

I work at a fast food chain. I won't say which one in a bid to keep my job but I will tell you that I work on drive-thru and that it amuses me more than it should....

If I've been there a few too many hours I'll switch from saying "would you like a large coke with that?" to the slightly different "Would you like a large cock with that?" ... You'd be surprised how many we sell :P

Occasionally there will be an abusive customer who will make working there hell. He or she will swear, drop the C or F bomb a few times and then make angry grunting noises like a dying horse. I usually just slide the window shut and watch the tantrum but occasionally they throw things at the window or even better....punch it. This might not sound funny at all but the glass is double layered so usually it results in bruised knuckles for them and a great story for me.

Sometimes I like to mess with the customers heads just coz I feel like it. Like today I started talking to this guy, who would have been about 19....watch me lie:
B: *Orders*
G: *Stares - at his hotness, nodding sporadically* You look tired, had a big day?
B: Yeah, been working out *flexes muscles*
G: *Stares-mouth gaping* Hmmm I'm tired too, had school at 7 (lie) coz I had swimming training (lie-don't remember the last time I swam...)
B: Hmmm I swim too...(G is totally in....) where's your cute as accent from?
G: England (Lie) parents moved when I was 8 (Lie) *Hands back receipt*
B: Naaah keep it. *G notices his number written on it*
GIORGIA FOR THE WIN!!!

Oh and that's not the only time. I've had people ask me to have their babies, to marry them and someone wanted me to get in their car coz they had candy....tempting I have to admit :)

I love my job, even though I don't get paid nearly enough, I come home smelling like grease and oil and my hair is yanked back so tight that I look like I have had an unfortunate face lift. Doesn't matter - where else can I ask people "do you really need that upsize?"

Hope all is well.

Cracking Up.

Ok so today my random crying fits went from being reserved only for the night time, to a full blown tantrum at midday....It's not looking good for my sanity.

 You see I had German school, we had a SAC I didn't know about...luckily it was listening so I was fine-plus I get my SAC sores from my school's German classes anyway. However I'd gone to bed late-gotten up early and haven't slept well in a week coz I stress my self out to the point of insomnia....not so bad I guess.

But that was only the beginning.....(yes I enjoy being overly dramatic...what of it?!?)

It was all supposed to get better, and yet no. I had plans to go out to dinner and a movie with Mum (yes I am THAT cool....), I was calm, just doing homework and getting prepared for the week ahead. All was well - the trees were swinging the birds were singing-Until I read my emails....

I got a rather (and by rather I mean very) catty email from one of my teachers who failed my essay and told me to re-write it. Barely restraining my need to reply with something even cattier I went to start on it...already tearing up and considering joining the circus when my work called. It turns out I had a seven hour shift today I didn't know about. The very angry call from my manager telling me to get into work or don't come back at all did it....

 The stress of four impending SACs, Mum leaving for Germany, Homework, my fail essay and then work too made me snap. So after walking around the house aimlessly for about fifteen minutes (having a meltdown), trying not to be a nutter (failing), I got into the car (sobbing like a spastic) and got to work (all panda-eyed and teary.) Note: I've bracketed how mental I really was so if you ignore them it sounds like I responded in a normal/mature way.

They asked if I needed to go home to calm down...that's how mental I was.

It's looking good....March and I'm already cracking up. Please just let me be back in Germany already!

Hope all is well.

Pussy Paw Prints.

Ok so it's been a while, not really my fault but then again....no, it kinda is.

Whilst i write this my cat is begging for attention so I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes, but chances are they're my cat stepping on the sfd]yimn....keyboard

So in these past 10 days I've been to central Australia. I saw Uluru which was nice and all but it was Kings Canyon that was truly amazing. We saw the Olgas too but the flies were so bad that it kinda ruined the whole walk for us. We had to get up at 5am every morning, so I pretty much went to bed at 8-Mum's normal Bedtime. There were a LOT of bugs, I hate bugs. I couldn't cope and lived in constant fear of being attacked by a cricket or a moth or worse....A Cockroach. I had a great trip though and I'm glad Mum and I saw all the big landmarks in Australia before she leaves fro Germany in 6 weeks.


sdttymbhj...

This week I have been so stressed in school that I've taken to random bouts of crying and hyperventilating. Considering I don't have any SACs this week, or exams-I'm not entirely certain why I'm so stressed. Probably something to do with the four next week..... Not looking good if I'm already cracking up before term one is even out. I think my main problems are that I have such high aims, seem to have chosen every subjective subject under the sun (e.g, English and Lit) and for some sick reason, everyone seems to have decided that I'm fluent at German, and that I'll get AT LEAST a 40....Think I feel another panic attack coming on!

Ok well I'm going to bed, German school tomorrow...hopefully I will be fluent by the end of the year but....I don't think so.

Hope all is well.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Lately I've been thinking about that famous question you're asked whilst growing up "What do you want to be when you grow up?"I've given many answers over the years and yet this year, is the only year that truly matters. Then again I could always just change majors if I hate my decision....

Here are some of my answers:

Age 5: Famous
Age 7: A Farmer
Age 9: A penguin/potato
Age 11: A Journalist
Age 13: A Singer
Age 14: A Zoologist/Vet
Age 15: An Historian
Age 16: A Translator
Age 17: A Lawyer

I'm sure somewhere along the line actor, author and horse-rider have also made an appearance as well as an abundance of other careers that may or may not be plausible....Potato? Where's the income in that?

I guess whenever we are asked that question, we don't seriously think about it. I always word-vomit Lawyer because it sounds impressive and at job interviews they're always going to hire the Lawyer over the clerk, so I guess I've gotten used to saying it and not actually considering what it means. That's a long time to study...A long time. Not that I mind but then if I get to the end of it and hate it? I guess I'll have studied German, and hopefully Spanish if I ever get around to it...Meh, we'll leave the big decisions for future Giorgia to make.

So I finally got around to doing homework. It took six weeks but for the first time all year I'm finally up to date. I didn't even start the year up to date! I guess it's better late than never though and certainly it's better to hand in four weeks worth of history homework in one shot than not at all....still don't think she was impressed though.

Tomorrow I have my meeting with the Study Plan Man. Not sure what the official title of his job is but none the less, he will tell me how to become a farmer, or a journalist or a lawyer or whatever I decide and whilst he's at it he will make a big plan for me on how to study and generally hate life. I hate plans, they limit imagination...I mean, how else am I supposed to spend two and a half hours on Facebook a night? Fairly certain he won't timetable that in for me...

Hopefully he'll play nice and let me have some random blogging time amongst "5-9pm study" ....oh I look forward to it.

Hope all is well.

Procrastination Station.

It's the weekend. Normally I would never even consider doing homework on a Friday. It's my night off, to relax and buy things at the shopping center that I don't really need. Tonight however, is different. After a week of awkwardly trying to fit study around my (weirdly) expanding social life, I've got a pile of stuff to do.

So what did I do?

Procrastinated of course! Tonight I have started looking into a story, entered dozens of online competitions, downloaded all the German podcasts I could find, painted my toenails, washed my hair, blow-dried my hair and after all that: I went out to dinner and  cleaned my bedroom. I am just that determined. Sadly I'm determined to do the wrong thing. I guess I should study, tomorrow I'm singing at the suburb's festival with the choir and then I have work for seven and a half hours (god, hold me back.) Then Sunday I have rehearsals for the school play and yet more procrastinating, staring at the ever increasing pile and then writing more timetables (that I will never stick to) for myself.

I really should study more, next week we're going to Uluru which means I'll get even further behind. Not that I'm behind, just....not ahead.....at all.

Hmmm well at least my toenails look nice? I'll try harder tomorrow....maybe.

Hope all is well.

Dancing Through Life.

So there seems to be a clip of me interpretive dancing on the net. That's somewhat unfortunate due to my total lack of mad dancing skillz. I can't dance to save myself actually. If someone was shooting at my feet screaming "DANCE FOR YOUR LIFE!" I'd die. I suck. I fully admit that, and therefore avoid the dance floor at all costs.

I know you're thinking about looking up the clip now, in all honesty I'm not embarrassed at all, how can I be? Years of experience has taught me that many people can't dance and at least I'm not Spanish, or Irish, or any of those nationalities that are expected to come with an inbuilt dancing ability. No, I allowed Mum to pay for ballet lessons, for jazz and tap too but...I just have no grace, no rhythm and no talent. I'm awkward and I know I'm bad...which just makes it worse. You know that feeling when you watch someone do something cool and you say to yourself "I can totally do that!" Well, when I see dancers- I know I can't. I was never flexible, never interested and always embarrassed.

Enough about dancing....It's best not to think about it. It's bed time now, unfortunately I left a stack of homework to the last possible second and now have to stay up late (O, Woe is me) to do it all. Instead of studying, I maturely chose to go and see "I am number four" with my Mum. Surprisingly enough, it's a good film...I recommend it if you're not looking to watch anything overly intelligent and want to just stare shamelessly at Alex Pettyfer.

Oh and I'm thinking of killing the person who invented Zumba. Stupid songs singing "Zumba" over and over again as if saying it enough and occasionally changing keys turns it into a new song or something. I hate it. We have to do it for sport and I hate it. I want to find that person, who is no doubt American and NOT Spanish like the songs are supposed to sound and...well...(add threatening statement here.)

Hope all is well.

No you didn't hear that wrong.

I am often told that I am a lot like my mother. I resent that. I'm taller, speak slightly better German and my hair is red-not brown. Admittedly that's often as far as the dissimilarities go. We sound similar, act similarly and spend much of our mornings having odd conversations like the snippets that follow, mostly because both our brains don't seem to kick into action until 11am...ish. Don't judge us, under all these somewhat snipey (I invented a word!) comments lies love....somewhere... :)

(Upon noticing that Mum's hair was unnaturally shiny)

G: Why is your hair sparkly?

M: Coz I'm a Cullen.

G: Imma cull you in a minute.

(Every. Single. Time.)

G: I'm going to have a shower.

M: GOOD!

(After reading James' FB post)

G: James re-did his room.

M: James rooted his BROTHER?!?

G: No. Not sure how you got that so wrong

(Anytime the subject of chores is raised.)
M: *Asks something about chores*
G: *Blank stare* You have a very shrill voice.


(Daily)
G: How was your day?
M: *Starts in on life story*
G: Shush now, let's talk about me.


(Whilst looking at photos)
G: I seem to have very small eyes.
M: Would you say beady?
G: I'd say bite me.


(During awkward moments)
G: Sooooooo, shall we go back to talking about me?
M: Do we have to?
G: Do you have to ask?


(On the rare occasion that she offers...)
M: What do you want for dinner?
G: You're cooking?
M: Don't act so surprised.
G: But I am!


.These are snippets, it's probably best I don't take them out of context or they sound odd....but they're odd anyway.


Hope all is well.
.

Three Rangas in a Boat

So tomorrow I have a German SAC. I am looking forward to it. I love the smell of a listening exam in the morning. No, not really but at least listening tests are what I'm best at....as long as she doesn't ask me any really detailed questions such as "What is your opinion of so-and-so's actions?" That kind of question can only be answered with "Meh" a shrug of the shoulders and a blank stare.

So what else? I have an unbelievable amount of pen on my legs, practice tattoos courtesy of Krystal. Not that I want a tattoo, but I was sitting on her and her vain attempts to get me off were to draw rough and random shapes from my feet to my thighs...it's a good look. No amount of showering seems to make the ink go away either, oh well-at least blue is my colour!

 I am continuing to force myself through Emma, the book not the person. It is becoming less tedious as I read on. I find her character less than charming, but then I can't really judge an 18th Century chick for hating on farmers. I just like clueless a lot better. I like that she hates geeks, not farmers, I like that Frank is gay, not shacking up with the woman Emma hates and mostly, I like that Harriet is a full-blown Ranga. Like all good characters should be.

I emailed Tim Minchin today. (Youtube him) I told him all about how my birthday present was tickets to his concert but ow I missed the concert....Not entirely certain what I wanted to achieve considering that I doubt he cares for my sob-story and I doubt even more so that he cares enough to personally read his emails. I'll probably just get some reply from an email-bot saying "EXTERMINATE" or "We're sorry for you, here's a signed poster" or something. Still, maybe he'll come to my birthday, I'd love that. Too hopeful?

Hope all is well.